let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
