I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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