nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize