i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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