Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
