I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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