Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
