Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
