i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
