I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
