I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
