It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
