I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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