WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
