Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
