whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
