This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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