Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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