I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
