VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize