So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
