I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
