I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Randomize
