So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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