How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
