2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
