so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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