Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
