you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
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