i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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