i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
