My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize