What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
