??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My vagina just recognized that song.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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