dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize