You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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