You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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