Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
