bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
