She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
