She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
