If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
