thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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