Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
