Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
