return my video game
I think I won the penis lottery.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
