you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
