I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
