my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
