Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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