just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
smell my finger.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
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