I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
3pm strippers are depressing
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
