Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Ladies don't puke and tell
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
