I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
