Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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