and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
