shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
