that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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