ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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