I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
