Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
