We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
