i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
