Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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