Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
