I don't usually arrange sex via text message
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Randomize
